


You Woke Into My Night

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst Train, Ben Solo is a Mess, Brief Burned Alive Mention, Idiots in Love, KOTOR II Vibes, Loss of the Force, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:27:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24903814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben Solo joins the Resistance — minus the Force. At first.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: Darkpilot Songbook





	You Woke Into My Night

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Based on the song “Insomnia" by IAMX.

It was when Ben was only a boy that he had problems sleeping. It wasn’t just the Voice, but a feeling, like the galaxy itself was screaming in his head. He had thought his mother teaching him to use shielding techniques would help. 

It had slowed the Voice down. 

It didn’t stop the worst from showing up on his doorstep. 

***

When the Knights of Ren came for the Temple, they were merciless. Ben had been woken up by the Force screaming a warning, only for him to realize that the Temple was on fire. 

The Knights had set it on fire. 

Ben ran. Tried to, only for Luke to grab him around the chest. “There’s nothing you can do, Ben,” he said. “They’re gone. Immolated.”

”They’re _not lost_ ,” Ben insisted. 

”I felt them.”

The Knights of Ren were still there. Ren, unmasked, like somehow, looking like someone else’s father would undo all the wrongs he had done. Make them okay. 

”You took long enough, kid,” Ren said. “I thought I’d bring the opportunity to you.”

”You’re a monster,” Ben said, struggling in Luke’s grip. He wanted so desperately to wring Ren’s neck. To break it. “Cowardly...despicable...”

”The Shadow’s strong in you, kid,” Ren said. “The Shadow and rage. Come with us. Or, you know, try your hand with one of us. Either way, we win.”

Ben went slack. He wanted to kill Ren. To make him suffer for what he did. But...

”I’m not letting you off that easy,” Ben said. 

Voe, Tai and Hennix arrived, of course. Provided back-up, though once again, Luke did most of the fighting. Ren escaped. Again. 

Ben shook. He swore that he was at least on the verge of having a panic attack. Then another ship landed. Poe’s. 

Tai, who was squeezing Ben’s shoulder, said, “Go to him.”

Ben ran to Poe. Ran to him, and even feeling Poe squeezing him in his arms...he was home. Completely, utterly home. 

***

Even Uncle Luke’s hot chocolate didn’t help matters. Ben wished juma was spiking it; after all, he was twenty-three years old, he had the right to have his own alcohol. 

”Ren deserves to die,” Voe said flatly. 

”Voe — ” Luke said. 

”Master Skywalker, I respect you, but are you saying we can’t be angry about this?” Voe said. “Our friends were burned alive, and for what? Pure, sadistic pleasure? I...” She sighed. “It isn’t Ben’s fault. I just want to put a lightsaber through that second-rate Darth Sion’s skull.”

Hennix didn’t say anything. For a change. Tai spoke up. “Voe,” he said, “Anger isn’t inherently bad. Without anger, there’d be no change. We’re not killing Ren. But he will face justice. Whether it’s imprisonment or restitution...he’ll get it."

Luke nodded. “You both make good points,” he said. “Just...don’t make snap decisions. Grieving isn’t often the best time to make critical choices.”

”I know.” Voe kicked a table leg, hard enough to leave a mark. 

”Voe,” Ben said to her, “I’m sorry.”

”S’okay.” It was a start, at least, patching up their enmity. 

***

Grieving isn’t often the best time to make critical choices. Ben knew that. It echoed in his mind as he and Poe tore at each other’s clothes, driven by a need to reassure the other that they were still human. Ben was Forceless, all but deafened. An artist or writer gone blind, a musician who lost the use of their hands. Poe was his light. His anchor. 

”Poe,” he murmured. They ground together, Ben checking in with Poe to make sure he liked it, and Poe affirming he did. Ben wondered if he was just giving and giving to Ben because Poe couldn’t help giving. 

Even if Poe loved him...well, Poe loved everyone, didn’t he? That certainty that everyone was good. Wonderful. He couldn’t possibly see Ben as anyone other than...pitiable. A pity fuck. 

Ben was glad Poe couldn’t read his mind as Poe came first, then Ben. Lying together, Ben wanted to tell himself that it was a bad decision made in the heat of the moment, though he knew that was a lie. 


End file.
